Delusional – New Ann Coulter Book

EXCLUSIVE: New Book by Ann Coulter is a personal memoir!

We have obtained an advance copy of Ann Coulter’s latest top secret book. The nine-time New York Times best-selling author is soon to publish a memoir revealing her innermost thoughts and feelings. The beloved and despised “conservative” polemicist and “Christian” provocateur talks candidly about herself and her aspirations.

Coulter’s soon-to-be-released new book, Delusional, is subtitled, “If I Were Czar of the Universe …” and, in it, Coulter exposes her inner being. In a rare moment of candor, Coulter admits, “Ann Coulter engages in ad hominem attacks. Ann Coulter is insane.”[1]

In Delusional, you will discover the heart and soul of Ann Hart Coulter, who wants to be both a star and a czar, as she reveals her innermost self-perceptions, regardless of how divergent they are from reality.


Among Coulter’s many whimsical fantasies about herself are her claims to be “more libertarian than most libertarians,” “more Tea Party than most tea partiers,” “totally pro-life,” and “an extraordinarily good Christian.” Yes, she even wants to be “czar of the universe,” despite acknowledging the totalitarian nature of that rank.

Here are some extracts for your amusement and edification.

Get ready to be captivated by the pundit who is captivated by herself!

All quotes are direct quotes from Coulter – vintage Ann Hart Coulter.

Introduction: “If I Were Czar of the Universe …”[2]

“Every once in a while I sit back and think what the world would be like if I were czar. And, if I were czar, I think my position would be that private institutions can do whatever they want to do and only the government can’t discriminate. … If I were czar of the universe, I would say that a private organization can do whatever it wants to, and, yes, it can discriminate on the base of race.”[3]

“But if I were the czar of the universe, she would be allowed to get away with it … I think a teacher or a school ought to be able to … on the basis of gender, race, the color of their hair. As long as it’s not the government, I think a private university ought to be able to do whatever it wants to.”[4]

“(This elusive concept is admittedly difficult to grasp, especially if you are a Supreme Court justice and prefer to think of yourself as ‘Czar of the Universe.’)”[5]

“You’re not Czar of the Universe anymore, SCOFLA.”[6]

“And I started asking my liberal friends, ‘What are you afraid of? If Tom DeLay were czar of the universe, what are you afraid he’d do?’”[7]

“I’m like the conservative ayatollah.”[8]

“You see – I really do need to be the ayatollah of this [conservative] movement.”[9]

CHAPTER 1: “I’m a middle-of-the-road moderate and the rest of you are crazy.”[10]

“There’s nothing more attractive than a rabid conservative.”[11]

“[I’m] right-wing crazy and proud of it.”[12]

“I’m second to none in right-wing lunacy.”[13]

“I went to Cornell, but I was a casual conservative. After being in Ithaca, NY, I left a violent conservative.”[14]

CHAPTER 3: “I’m more libertarian than most libertarians”[15]

“I’m more libertarian than most people who call themselves libertarian.”[16]

“I’m libertarian on everything except morality.”[17]

“[I regret] when I was 14 and briefly libertarian.”[18]

“My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that’s because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism.”[19]

“My complaint with [my libertarian friends] is, they don’t appreciate the virtues of local fascism.”[20]

“Libertarian Party – capital ‘L’ – can end up being a little pointless and a little cowardly, I mean, just to attack both parties – ‘Oh, it’s both the Republicans and the Democrats.’ No. Come on! It really isn’t.”[21]

“I think people often claim to be libertarians, most people don’t even know what you’re talking about. It sort of sounds like ‘liberal,’ and I just think it’s sort of the cowardly thing to say.”[22]

“This is why people think libertarians are pussies. … You know, if you’re a little more manly you would tell them what your position on employment discrimination is. How about that? But it’s always ‘We want to legalize pot.’”[23]

“[9/11 truthers] are like libertarians that way. They take facts but the logic just falls off the cliff. They take facts and they weave them together …”[24]

“A lot of libertarians are godless. … So many of your rank-and-file libertarians are cowards because they’re godless and believing in God does not allow you to be a coward.”[25]

“If Rand Paul thinks black people are rooting for black crack dealers to go free, he’s even crazier than his old man.”[26]

[Asked, Are you for Ron Paul or Sarah Palin?]: “Probably Sarah Palin. But my candidate for President in 2012 is Governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie.”[27]

“I think we can do without the tea partiers and libertarians.”[28]


“If you are considering voting for the Libertarian candidate in any Senate election, please send me your name and address so I can track you down and drown you.”[29]

“[If the GOP loses] Republicans were done in by a circular firing squad. Republicans will lose hope, it will be a downward spiral of defeat and all that will be left to do is track down the people responsible and kill them.”[30]

“Libertarians and tea partiers, you were fantastic this election. I have a lot on my plate right now, so it’s kind of a relief that I’m not going to have to drown you.”[31]

CHAPTER 4: “I’m more Tea Party than most tea partiers”[32]

“I speak at a lot of Tea Parties, know a lot of them, and I think I am one.”[33]

“I suppose I consider myself a Tea Partier.”[34]

“I think we can do without the tea partiers and libertarians.”[35]

“… then you have the base – these tea partiers – running off and causing Republicans to lose elections. But for elections lost by Republican consultants and/or the Tea Party, we would already have [a Republican majority in the Senate].”[36]

“I think he’s [Jim DeMint] been paid off by Soros.”[37]

“On their ‘About’ page, [the Senate Conservative Fund] won’t tell me who runs it – George Soros, George Soros, George Soros. … I think a lot of these Tea Party groups are George Soros fronts.”[38]

“Oh I remember, the tea party’s darling is @marcorubio, spokesman for the tea party on amnesty. No, I won’t be ‘joining’ that party.”[39]

“Please get their addresses [of Chris McDaniel’s supporters] for me so I can fly in and hold their heads under the water until the bubbles stop.”[40]

“Without tea party challenges and greedy Republican consultants, Republicans would be looking at 59 senate seats in the next Congress.”[41]

“Libertarians and tea partiers, you were fantastic this election. I have a lot on my plate right now, so it’s kind of a relief that I’m not going to have to drown you.”[42]

“In return for the tea party not being spasmodic and pushing crazy candidates this election, the GOP establishment had better abandon its corporate-benefactor-pleasing ways.”[43]

CHAPTER 6: “I am totally pro-life.”[44]

“I enthusiastically embrace the death penalty [in the context of 14-year-old murderers].”[45]

“Sometimes people are innocent of the crime they were sentenced to death for, but perhaps not all crimes.”[46]

“I think that every day when I take the New York City subway. … I would like to kill all of them. I can analyze that and stop myself from killing people on a New York City street.”[47]

“Once you’ve committed a violent crime, I say, ‘death penalty.’ Why do we waste time with the prisons? I would give Chuck Colson one year of Prison Ministries. If you turn them into a Christian, they can go. Otherwise, death!”[48]

“Take the Virginia governor’s race. [GOP candidate] Ken Cuccinelli is down about 10 points. Guess what the libertarian is polling at? Ten points! We need some strategic hunting accidents, airplane crashes. We need Luca Brasi in our party.”[49]

“It’s not the position of the National Right To Life Committee that a woman should carry the baby of her rapist. I think our position is, ‘No, absolutely exceptions for rape and incest.’”[50]

“Those few abortionists were shot, or, depending on your point of view, had a procedure with a rifle performed on them. I’m not justifying it, but I do understand how it happened.”[51]

“I don’t really like to think of it as a murder. It was terminating Tiller in the 203rd trimester.”[52]

“W.W.J.K.: Who Would Jesus Kill?”[53]


CHAPTER 7: “I’m an extraordinarily good Christian.”[54]

“I do believe in heaven. I’m what C.S. Lewis called ‘the worst sort of Christian.’ I believe enough to feel really miserable about not being a saint, and not enough to actually be a saint. So I’m just sort of miserable all the time.”[55]

“Yeah, I suppose I’m a Christian, it’s just not like I’m constantly writing about it and thinking about it”[56]

“Although my Christianity is somewhat more explicit in this book, Christianity fuels everything I write. … I was raised Christian, but I’ve become more Christian in the past five or ten years, and one most transforming effect in my own life is that I’m constantly at peace.”[57]

“I’m a Christian and everything comes from being a Christian … I do think Christianity fuels all of my books because you are called upon to behave in a certain way as a Christian and that is to fight lies, injustice, cruelty, hypocrisy, that fuels everything.” [58]

“Although my Christianity is somewhat more explicit in this book, Christianity fuels everything I write.”[59]

“I love America, God, and truth, and I hate liars.”[60]

“I’m a Christian first and a mean-spirited, bigoted conservative second, and don’t you ever forget it.”[61]

“If God himself came down from heaven and told me these cops intentionally murdered Amadou Diallo knowing he was unarmed, I would not believe it.”[62]

“… being nice to people is an incidental tenet of Christianity.”[63]

“I used to love [John McCain], then I liked him, now I despise him.”[64]

“They forgive [John McCain], I don’t. … I’m reconsidering ‘the love your enemies’ part [of Christianity].”[65]

“Now I can officially hate [Todd Akin]. … Now I officially hate him.”[66]

“I hate the feminists. The real reason I loathe and detest feminists …[they] are also marauding, bloodthirsty vipers.”[67]

“If you don’t hate Clinton and the people who labored to keep him in office, you don’t love your country.”[68]

“I for one bolted past indifference straight into loathing long ago.”[69]

“I hate white liberals.”[70]

“The riot in Ferguson reminds me, I hate criminals, but I hate liberals more.”[71]

“I’ve never said anything so outrageous that I regret it. Though I’ve regretted things that were too tame.”[72]

“You can see I haven’t been transformed.”[73]


[All quotations in this fictitious Book Review are accurate and originate with Ann Hart Coulter.]

For additional Ann Coulter identities, see “Ann Coulter’s Crazy Funhouse Mirror” at


[1]       Ann Coulter, Scarborough Country, MSNBC, 7/7/03.

[2]       Ann Coulter, Politically Incorrect, ABC, 3/12/99, and Ann Coulter, Leadership Seminar, Clare Booth Luce Policy Institute, 6/12/00. See Vanity: Ann Coulter’s Quest for Glory at

[3]       Ann Coulter, Leadership Seminar, Clare Booth Luce Policy Institute, 6/12/00.

[4]       Ann Coulter, Politically Incorrect, ABC, 3/12/99.

[5]       Ann Coulter, “Disgusting doesn’t make it ‘speech,’” 8/1/01.

[6]       Ann Coulter, “National Lampoon’s Florida Supreme Court Vacation,” 12/6/00.

[7]       Ann Coulter, Booknotes, C-Span, 8/11/02.

[8]       Ann Coulter, Piers Morgan, CNN, 10/15/13

[9]       Ann Coulter, YAF interview, “Hot Babes will Spark the Conservative Movement,” 8/8/11.

[10]     Ann Coulter, “I’d Burn My Neighbor’s House,” 9/15/00. See The Beauty of Conservatism at

[11]     Ann Coulter, attributed, 6/8/99.

[12]     Ann Coulter, Vantage Points, 12/5/97.

[13]     Ann Coulter, Southern Illinois University, 3/27/02.

[14]     Ann Coulter, quoted by Rush Limbaugh, “My Conversation with Ann Coulter,” Limbaugh Letter, August 2003, pg. 6.

[15]     Ann Coulter, CNN Tonight, CNN, 11/3/14.

[16]     Ann Coulter, America’s News HQ, FNC, 3/16/13.

[17]     Ann Coulter, Robert, 11/6/09.

[18]     Ann Coulter, Piers Morgan, CNN, 2/11/14.

[19]     Ann Coulter, MSNBC, 2/8/97.

[20]     Annys Shin, “Blonde Ambition on the Right,” National Journal, 5/31/97.

[21]     Ann Coulter, Booknotes, C-Span, 8/11/02.

[22]     Ibid.

[23]     Ann Coulter, Stossel, FBN, 2/21/13.

[24]     Ann Coulter, Mid-Day LA, KABC, 5/28/14.

[25]     Ann Coulter, In Depth, C-Span, 8/7/11.

[26]     Ann Coulter, “Black People the Media Hate (and Rand Paul Isn’t Wild About),” 12/3/14.

[27]     Ann Coulter, Freedom Watch, FBN, 5/6/11.

[28]     Ann Coulter, Fox & Friends, FNC, 11/2/14.

[29]     Ann Coulter, “Your ‘To Do’ List to Save America,” 9/17/14.

[30]     Ann Coulter, “My Pre-Recrimination Election Analysis, 11/3/14.

[31]     Ann Coulter, “Voters Are Giving You One More Chance, GOP,” 11/12/14.

[32]     Ann Coulter, CNN Tonight, CNN, 11/3/14.

[33]     “Ann Coulter: The ‘Never Trust a Liberal over 3’ Interview,” Kam Williams Show, 11/18/13.

[34]     “Ann Coulter on Winning: Political pundit Ann Coulter discusses the importance of winning elections over simply maintaining ideological purity,” Byline with Brian Lilley, Sun News, 11/29/13.

[35]     Ann Coulter, Fox & Friends, FNC, 11/2/14.

[36]     Ann Coulter, Hannity, FNC, 10/21/14.

[37]     Ann Coulter, Ft. Myers, FL, 12/21/13.

[38]     Ann Coulter, Los Angeles, 11/10/13.

[39]     Ann Coulter, tweet, 11/3/14.

[40]     Ann Coulter, Eagle Forum Collegians Leadership Summit, 7/11/14.

[41]     Ann Coulter, “A Tough Night at MSNBC, 11/5/14.

[42]     Ann Coulter, “Voters Are Giving You One More Chance, GOP,” 11/12/14.

[43]     Ibid.

[44]     Ann Coulter, quoted by Emily Freund, “Ann Coulter: She May Be Right …” Westchester WAG, October 2002. See The Gospel According to Ann Coulter at

[45]     Ann Coulter, 4/10/97.

[46]     Ann Coulter, 11/9/96.

[47]     Ann Coulter, 7/11/00.

[48]     Ann Coulter, Red Eye, FNC, 2/5/13.

[49]     Krissah Thompson, “Ann Coulter back on airwaves, reenergized by shutdown and exemplifying unhappiness of GOP,” Washington Post, 10/29/13.

[50]     Ann Coulter, CPAC, 3/17/13.

[51]     Ann Coulter, Reclaiming America for Christ Conference, Ft. Lauderdale, FL, 3/3/07. Coulter said something similar at a Values Voter Summit in Washington, D.C.: “For two decades after Roe, no abortion clinic doctors were killed. But immediately after Planned Parenthood v. Casey, after working within the system did not work, produced no results…for the first time an abortion doctor was killed. A few more abortion clinic workers were killed in the next few years. I’m not justifying it, but I understand when you take democracy away from people, some of them will react violently. The total number of deaths attributable to Roe were seven abortion clinic workers and 40 million unborn babies.” (See See Daniel Borchers, “Ann Coulter Speeches Scrubbed by Conservative Groups,” Bradblog, 5/1/07,

[52]     Ann Coulter, O’Reilly Factor, FNC, 6/22/09.

[53]     Ann Coulter, “W.W.J.K.: Who Would Jesus Kill?” 3/10/04.

[54]     “Church Militant: Ann Coulter on God, Faith, and Liberals,”, 2006, See also “Ann Coulter is Not a Good Person – An Open Letter to Erick Erickson” at See The Gospel According to Ann Coulter at

[55]     Ann Coulter, MSNBC, 3/23/97.

[56]     Ann Coulter, Columbia Spectator, 12/5/01.

[57]     Ann Coulter, AOL interview, 7/14/06,, audio at

[58]     Ann Coulter, Hannity & Colmes, FNC, 6/6/06.

[59]     Lisa de Pasquale,Exclusive Interview: Coulter Says Book Examines ‘Mental Disorder’ of Liberalism,” Human Events, 6/6/06.

[60]     Ibid.

[61]     Ann Coulter, If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d Be Republicans, Crown Forum, 2007, pp. 77-78.

[62]     Ann Coulter, “A liberal lynching,” 2/16/00.

[63]     Ann Coulter, “The Passion of the Liberal,” 3/03/04.

[64]     Ann Coulter, quoted in Washington Post, 8/1/00.

[65]     Ann Coulter, O’Reilly Factor, FNC, 10/15/07,,2933,302437,00.html.

[66]     Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity Radio Show, Premiere Radio Networks, 8/22/12.

[67]     Ann Coulter, How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must), Crown Forum, 2004, pp. 324-325.

[68]     Ann Coulter, George, July 1999.

[69]     Ann Coulter, Human Events, 8/18/00.

[70]     Ann Coulter, website posting, 8/20/14.

[71]     Ann Coulter, “Liberals Willing to Fight to the Last Drop of Black Blood,” 11/26/14.

[72]     Lynda Wright, “Ms. Right,” People, 7/29/02, pg. 107.

[73]     Ann Coulter, AOL interview, 7/14/06,, audio at

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