In a stunning twitterstorm, Ann Coulter proved that she cannot count, read, or reason.
Coulter was outed on January 5th, with a big controversy over her three-character tweet – “14!” – which shed obviously meant to identify the number of days until Trump’s inauguration but which was misconstrued as a white supremacist code word.
Defending herself, an irate Coulter unleashed her fury in a 2 ½-hour Twitter tirade (emphasis added):
|6:16 pm – As I have been doing periodically since January 2016, today I tweeted out the number of days left in Obama’s presid… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…|
|6:17 pm – Inasmuch as today is Day 14 on the Obama Countdown Clock, I tweeted “14.” https://t.co/ArR3JMApGV|
|6:20 pm – Unknown to me, but VERY well known to hysterics, “14” has some mystical significance for the 5 or 6 ppl who believe themselves to be Nazis.|
|6:21 pm – Being the target of idiotic attacks can be fun! But being called a Nazi – even by ppl who are really really really dumb – isn’t so fun.|
|6:21 pm – The ringleader, a CUNY prof who specializes in – you’ll never guess! – social activism on the taxpayer’s dime, can’t figure out Twitter.|
|6:22 pm – This loathsome creature takes taxpayer money in order to waste students’ time and ensure that they are unemployable.|
|6:23 pm – His students don’t know how to read or write, but a guy too stupid to use Twitter, count or follow the news, is teaching them how to protest|
|6:246 pm – This charlatan ADVERTISES: I teach students to make life hell for taxpayers, white ppl and workers. (But not learn anything useful.)|
|6:24 pm – The others work at HuffPo & Mediaite, under the insane delusion that some day it will read to a paying job. (It won’t, Jenna.)|
|6:26 pm – To sh*t-for-brains, desperate hysterics: If you put your head on the desk & think really, really, really hard, I be… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…|
|7:57 pm – No, 14 days, moron. See “Obama Countdown Clock” which I’ve been using for my countdown tweets since LAST JANUARY.… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…|
|8:49 pm – 14: Angus Johnston’s percentile on the verbal SAT. twitter.com/studentactivis…|
|8:49 pm – 14: The last age at which girls were nice to Angus Johnston. twitter.com/studentactivis…|
Coulter seemed particularly incensed over being called a Nazi, an appellation which actually deserves some consideration.
(It seemed obvious to me that “14!” was part of a countdown and not a secret code word – and that she had simply miscounted – but her critics’ confusion is understandable given Coulter’s prominence in the Alt-Right movement and her ideological affiliation with David Duke.)
As for counting, well, Coulter needs some lessons.
Her Twitter counteroffensive ignored this self-evident truth:
20 days – 5 days = 15 (not 14) days!
The countdown clock itself read 14 days plus. (It’s always the plus which seems to escape Coulter’s grasp.)
Nevertheless, Coulter has accused Republicans of stupidity, saying, “It’s not even just cowardice on the part of Republicans. It’s abject stupidity. It’s an inability to do math.”
Indeed, her rebuttals merely proved the point of her critics. Coulter’s error could easily be corrected by 1) counting on one’s fingers, 2) accurately reading source material, and 3) reason.
Both literacy and numeracy appear to evade Coulter. She even thinks the Great Depression was a time of unparalleled prosperity for America. Now that’s bad counting.
Actually reading her source material would have given her the clue. Her justifying tweet contains the answer to her error. Immediately above the countdown clock, the text reads, “we also have the countdown to 12 noon the same day, when inauguration actually occurs.”
In other words, Coulter was using the clock counting down to midnight, not noon (when the inauguration actually takes place). Each countdown is X days plus hours, minutes, and seconds.
In the military, it would be called 14 days and a wake-up, meaning more than 14 days. (A partial day counts as a day.)
Coulter should have used the noon countdown clock to determine the time until Trump’s inauguration (as plainly stated on the clock).
By her own account, for a year Coulter has been counting down to the day of the inauguration, not to the inauguration (and failing to see the difference).
The next day, Coulter – with rapid-fire humorous tweets – attempted to deflect attention from her miscalculation, to no avail (emphasis added):
|3:25 pm – 13! (which is not a satanic, Nazi, Klan or reference, Lindsey Ellefson & Angus Johnston, you pathetic morons.)|
|3:28 pm – 13! Hey @Mediaite! Is it the number of brain cells in Lindsey Ellefson’s head??? https://t.co/une7ya8rUM|
|3:28 pm – 13! Could it be the jersey number of Russian hockey player Pavel Datsyuk as a secret code to Putin??? Get on this… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…|
|3:30 pm – 13! Is it the average number of times a day Angus Johnston swears at his parents for naming him Angus? https://t.co/sUwm1PW8Ko|
|3:30 pm – 13! Hey Angus! Could this be a reference to our 13th president, who had SLAVES??? https://t.co/jivwOYJ6mf|
|3:32 pm – 13! Is it the average number of years Angus Johnston’s students have to live with their parents after they graduat… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…|
|3:34 pm – 13! Hey sleuths! It’s *Friday* the 13th! A cryptic message to Jason to put on his hockey mask fire up the chainsaw… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…|
|3:36 pm – 13! Is it a subtle reference to the number of hours liberals spend lying about me per day??? https://t.co/2P7e7Xq1OU|
|3:37 pm – 13! Is it a DOG WHISTLE referencing the average number of fake news stories by HuffPo per day? https://t.co/qHzKNmgmNv|
|3:38 pm – 13! An unlucky number … unless it’s the number of days Obama has left in office!!!!! https://t.co/O8dKPE8DdZ|
Humor notwithstanding, Coulter replicated her mistake from the previous day.
Berating her critics for their paucity of brain cells, Coulter showed herself immune from reason.
Let’s read the countdown clock she used.
It reads, “Time until Obama leaves office.”
It gives the days, hours, minutes, and seconds.
Let’s reason: Once the 13 days have expired, there remains over eight hours “until Obama leaves office.”
In other words, more than 13 days (i.e., 13 days plus part of a 14th day). It’s not in 13 days, it’s on the 14th day.
So, Coulter’s critics – and everyone else who knows how to count on their fingers – knows it’s 14 days until Trump becomes president.
(This isn’t like a birthday, which is traditionally marked at midnight, but a legal ceremony with a specific time of implementation.)
Coulter’s critics were rash – but understandably so – to impart a nefarious meaning to Coulter’s “14!” tweet. For her part, Coulter has again demonstrated that she doesn’t handle criticism very well, is quick to justify herself, and loathe to admit error.