Tag Archives: humor

@AnnCoulter at Her Best

Recently, Ann Coulter celebrated her 58th birthday. Over the years, I have been very critical of Ann, and rightly so, but here I want to acknowledge her strengths and offer you a sampling of the best of her commentary.

Many have remarked upon Ann’s wit and charm (neither of which are necessarily indicators of morality in and of themselves). She is telegenic and knows how to court her audiences in person and on-air.

Ann has written 13 books (of varying quality), published close to 2,000 columns, given tens of thousands of interviews, and was once a favorite (and increasingly controversial) public speaker.

Following are selections from some of Ann’s best columns for your enjoyment and edification.

October 2014 – Ebola Crisis

Ann’s Ebola column was priceless.[1] Factual, well-reasoned, incisive, witty, non-polemical. (I wouldn’t change a word.)

Ann also wrote a literary gem[2] which I would like to share with you.[3]

Entitled “Your ‘to do’ list to save America,” Ann addressed the upcoming elections with insight, wit, and vigor. I thoroughly enjoyed her literary style (while disagreeing with a few of her points). It was well written and engaging, with a good overall structure, and it adroitly expressed her intended message with flair. Forceful, yet restrained.

Ann opened with the need to “swing the Senate to Republican control,” then, in her second paragraph, wrote my favorite sentence in this column:

“Turn that into a mnemonic, sew it on needlepoint pillows, include it in your wedding vows, right-wingers.” Beautiful imagery, quaint, to the point, with a cascading effect which lends a subtle sense of mounting urgency.

March 2017 – Illegals Rape Children

In perhaps her best column of 2017, Ann exquisitely expressed the dangers of political correctness, identity politics, and the negative impact of open borders on America. The tragic rape of a 14-year-old girl – and its emotional and political fallout – deeply touched Ann’s heart, largely in part because it was an illegal raping an American teenager.

May 2017 – Manchester Concert Terrorist Attack

In a poignant column published shortly after the Manchester concert terrorist attack in May, 2017, Ann’s satirically titled column – “Rome Burns – Nero Worries About Pyrophobia” – cut to the heart of the matter. It is, perhaps, her second-best column of 2017.

This was one of Ann’s two best columns of 2017, written with deep passion and conviction about an issue dear to her heart.

June 2017 – Alexandria Shooting

Ann highlighted the hypocrisy and partisan political agenda of the Fake News Media in the wake of an assassination attempt by a Leftist against a group of Republican political leaders! (Trump Derangement Syndrome prevails on the Left. Though, of late, Coulter has been captured by its allure.)

August 2017 – Statue of Liberty

Ann spotlighted the absurdity of the Left’s immigration talking points and their looking to a poem written by Emma Lazarus which is on the Statue of Liberty donated to America by France instead of looking to what is written in our American Constitution.

September 2017 – Immigration Moratorium

Ann showcased the lunacy of current immigration policy and the failure of politicians to protect the American people from dangers both foreign and domestic.

October 2017 – Snarky Media

Apparently without any self-reflection at all, Ann accurately observed the nature of the Fake News Media and its failure to objectively report the facts on the great issues of our day.

November 2017 – Sexual Harassment

Ann exposed the sham nature of the #MeToo movement and its double standards when reporting on liberal vs. conservative villains.

January 2018 – Being an American

Ann drew a line in the sand between those who are American patriots and those who are self-proclaimed citizens of the world.

March 2018 – Walls Work

Through the first two years of the Trump presidency, the Left’s primary talking point regarding securing our border is that nothing can be done about the influx of illegal aliens and that walls do not work. Ann’s counterargument refuted their nonsense.

March 2018 – White Privilege

Ann mocked the Identity Politics Left, which has championed the nonsensical White Privilege narrative for perhaps a decade or more. (Of course, Coulter has her own equally nonsensical WASP Privilege narrative.)

June 2018 – End Immigration[4]

In denouncing the open borders movement, Ann eloquently expressed how unlimited immigration is transforming America from top to bottom.

June 2018 – Genocidal Rwandan Refugees

Ann contrasted absorbing alleged refugees from extremely dysfunctional countries who bring with them the violent antisocial aspects of their homelands to America with the Left’s obsession over microaggressions in American culture.

The only culture the Left condemns is America’s!

July 2018 – SCOTUS Panic

Because the ideas of the Left are anathema to most Americans, the Left has used the courts to implement its agenda which is contrary to the will of the people. Ann pointed out why the Left is so incensed over Supreme Court and lower court nominations, employing scorched-earth politics and ad hominen rhetoric against those it deems a threat to its Progressive agenda.

October 2018 – Sanctuary Cities

Ann explained why she calls sanctuary cities the new Jim Crow.

January 2019 – Leftist Anti-Wall Talking Points Walled Off from Reality

Ann cogently and humorously explained why walls work, why they can and should be built, and why the Left’s preferred solutions are ineffective.

 May 2019 – #BuildTheWall

Though I disagree with Ann’s continued attacks against Trump over immigration and the wall, Ann did a good job rhetorically of conveying her viewpoint.

August 2019 – Democrats Should be on a Terrorist Watch List

Ann hoisted the Left on its own petard, using its own standards, to declare that “every Democratic presidential candidate should be on a terrorist watch list right now.”

Joker: Ann Coulter Unplugged provides an in-depth, detailed analysis of Coulter’s worldview and character flaws which have led her to be so wrong in so many areas in which she regards herself as an expert.

Endnotes:

[1]               Ann Coulter, “We’ll tell you how dangerous Ebola is after the election,” 10/15/14.

[2]               Ann Coulter, “Your ‘to do’ list to save America,” 9/17/14.

[3]               While I disagree with some of her conclusions, her presentation was excellent. It was a thoroughly enjoyable read, except for the elimination rhetoric in the very last phrase. (Some habits die hard.) (I would also have chosen words other than “insane” and “idiots,” though, perhaps I am getting too picky.) But for a nuts-and-bolts let’s-get-down-to-the-details election analysis, it was top notch, and, again, an enjoyable read. Consider it an unpolished diamond.

[4]               Ann correctly diagnosed the rationale and motivating factors behind the open-borders movement and its false narratives against those who seek to preserve national sovereignty and American culture.

Ann Coulter: America’s Fool!

Once hailed the Goddess of the Conservative Movement and a Conservative Icon, polemicist and Alt-Right Queen Ann Coulter has become America’s Fool!

Joker cover

For over twenty years, Coulter’s preferred presidential nominee has become someone she ultimately hates.

Coulter shares astonishing similarities with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and has been called the AOC of the GOP!

Every self-identity Coulter holds is bogus.

Coulter is not a Settler, but an Immigrant.

Coulter is not a WASP purebred, but a mongrel.

In addition to two decades of presidential follies, Coulter’s fiascos are legendary, including at Berkeley, the Hamptons, CPAC, and with Delta.

How did Coulter become America’s Fool? Hubris!

Joker: Ann Coulter Unplugged provides an in-depth, detailed analysis in this holistic exposé of how and why Coulter became the person she is today.

Joker addresses the physical, mental, emotional, psychological, familial, sexual, and spiritual dimensions which have shaped the Coulter extant today and it highlights both the positives and the negatives of Coulter’s life and career.

Ann’s brokenness provides an object lesson for all of us and, hopefully, this book will act as a public intervention to help Ann to face her brokenness and seek healing and restoration.

Trump is a B.S.-er, Not Liar

Straight from the horse’s mouth, Donald Trump really is full of B.S.

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Ann Coulter told the audience of The Drive Home (9/29/16), “I think what Trump is is a BSer, not a liar, by which I mean, it’s rhetorical.” She went on to claim that Trump is guilty of hyperbole and jokes, but not lying.

If only that were true.

Coulter has had to contend for over 15 months with Trump’s often bizarre formulations. Coulter has called her candidate “mental” and she “wanted to shoot” her TV prompted by Trump’s words and actions.

Coulter has admitted that Trump is a fraud, yet defends his every misstep, from mocking disabled journalists to defending misogyny. For her, death threats are fun and threatening to nuke Europe a blast.

Never forget, Coulter remains a propagandist for Trump, who, at heart is a bully. Coulter herself is the face of the Alt-Right.

Truly a match made in Hell.

Comedy Central Cuts Coulter’s Conscience

You could say Ann Coulter was the butt of all their jokes, if she had one. (Groan.)

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The Let’s Roast Ann Coulter Instead of Rob Lowe Roast was truly eye-opening, revealing the heart of Hollywood and of Ann Coulter.

Neglected are crucial portions of the taped program cut from the broadcast version.

Coulter contends that Comedy Central edited the final version to make her look bad. (Here is an annotated transcript of her set as broadcast.) Comedy Central also appears to have edited out at least one portion which shows Coulter’s humanity, her conscience.

Steve Bramucci reported his eyewitness account of the taping, observing:

“There was one final moment of unexpected Coulter pathos, though. When she was supposed to insult Jewel – something about the singer’s teeth – she broke into her own joke to apologize, saying, ‘they’re making me say this.’”

This is remarkable for three reasons. First, no one ever makes Coulter say or do anything. Everything she does is what she wants to do. Therefore, she is responsible for every single word she says and action she takes.

Second, Coulter never apologizes!

Even more remarkable, Ann felt a twinge of guilt – even having just been savaged by hostile peers. At that very moment, her conscience was pricked.

Why?

Did Coulter, perhaps for the first time in a very long time, personally feel what it’s like to receive the kind of vitriol her victims regularly feel? Did she finally grasp that the reason she is so hated is because she is so hateful?

About that God moment, Bramucci remarked, “It was also the most humanity I can remember her showing in a public setting.”

Humanity – a thing of beauty.

He continued: “The moment was so jarring that the guy working the teleprompter must’ve fallen out of his chair, because the scroll stopped halfway through Coulter’s set and she had to literally beg for it to go back on.”

Perhaps the most important thing we’ve learned about Coulter is that she is a human being, too. (I can envision a roaster saying, “Even monsters have feelings.”)

Annotated Transcript of Coulter’s set at the Roast of Rob Lowe

[This transcript of Coulter’s roast speech includes bracketed annotations.]

“Welcome to the Ann Coulter Roast with Rob Lowe.”

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“I’m so overwhelmed with the love in this room tonight. I can’t thank you enough. It’s really something.”

[Following her clever opening sentence, Coulter’s petulant sarcasm expressed a you’re so mean to me attitude. Coulter is prone to crying “victim” when she is often the victimizer.]

“I’m not a comedienne, which is why, you can imagine, I often get mistaken for Nikki Glaser.”

[Actually, Coulter considers herself the ultimate comedienne. She likens herself to H.L. Mencken and Mark Twain. Her speeches are often a series of punchlines and she discards substantive material in favor of jokes in her columns. Some of her closest friend are comics, a milieu she cherishes.]

“I’m only here tonight because of all the love and respect I have for Rob Lowe and all these fabulous and talented performers tonight. It has nothing to do with this being the next stop on my press junket for the book I’ve just published four days ago, In Trump We Trust: E Pluribus Awesome – Pause for boos. Oh, wait, I wasn’t supposed to read that – available at fine bookstores everywhere. I know it’s pretty shameless, but I’m on stage with a guy who made two ‘Joe Dirt’ films, so how shameless can I be.”

[The first of two “shameless” book promotions, Coulter failed to grasp the nature of the roast format and to distinguish it from a celebrity talk show.]

“As a right-wing hatemonger, it’s fantastic to be at a big Hollywood shindig with all these glittering celebrities that isn’t a fundraiser for Obama. I’m hoping to persuade you all to vote for Trump but most of all I want you, David [Spade], because it would prove the media is lying when they say there, say that Trump won’t get the vote of a single Spade.”

[Someone as race-obsessed as Ann should avoid using the term “spade” in such a context.]

“David is the perfect toastmaster for the show. He’s successful enough that everyone knows who he is but not so successful that he makes us feel threatened. He’s like the Mike Pence of comedy.”

[That Coulter thinks people are naturally threatened by successful people suggests she has a warped perspective on what success entails. Milquetoast Mike Pence? But she doesn’t like him.]

“A lot of people don’t realize that David’s sister is famous designer Kate Spade. Judging by your outfit, David, I gather you’re not speaking.”

“Why is Jeff Ross at every roast? He thinks he deserves it and everyone else just goes along with it? He’s like Hillary Clinton.”

“Actually, to be fair, if I could get just one person here to vote for Trump, it would be you, Ralph. People would be so surprised. I’d go up and say, ‘I got Ralph Macchio. He’s voting for Donald Trump.’ And they’d say, ‘Oh, oh, what a shock. Ralph is still alive?’ Just kidding. You look totally fantastic. It’s unbelievable, Ralph. Can you believe this guy’s like 54? He looks incredible. Whatever you’ve been drinking, you gotta send a few cases to Hillary.”

[Why emphasis Ralph’s age and “incredible” looks? Is Ann trying to convince others – and herself – that she looks incredible at 54?]

“We have British comedian Jimmy Carr with us because of Obama’s lax immigration policies.”

[But Coulter favors white immigrants from Britain. She wants to restore a WASP – White Anglo-Saxon – America. Oh, that’s right, Carr is a liberal.]

“I must admit I’m a little uncomfortable with not only the mean jokes but the raw sexual commentary that’s so popular at these roasts. I mean, apparently female comics have to be dirty to expand their fan base. Thank God you didn’t have to go there, Nikki.”

[Uncomfortable? Coulter is the queen of mean jokes and deliberately offensive. Moreover, the “raw sexual commentary” directed at her and others is no worse than the humor employed by some of her comedic friends.]

“If you’ve ever asked yourself, ‘Who do I have to screw to get a TV show in Hollywood?’ Nikki has the actual list.”

“I’m honored to share this stage with a patriot, Rob Riggle. Thank you for your service. You were a marine for over 20 years. You’ve seen things no man should have seen, including The Daily Show with Trever Noah.”

“Peyton Manning, I applaud your conservative convictions. I know you’re a big supporter of Jeb Bush. That’s a political contribution that will pay handsomely. Jeb got four delegates, which makes me laugh harder than any of the jokes tonight.”

“I once thought Pete Davidson was just like Obama, a biracial goofball who ruined a once-beloved institution. But it turns out I was wrong. Pete’s not biracial.”

[Race-obsessed Ann has been fixated on biracial Obama since his first inauguration. As an emerging leader of the alt-Right, Coulter has some distinctly flawed views on all things racial.]

“And now for the man of the hour [interrupted by applause], the man of the hour – the one hour left in his career – Rob Lowe. I’m a big fan of Rob Lowe’s work, especially, of course, the tapes, threesome. To this day, that remains the most authentic performance I have ever seen at a Democratic National Convention.”

“Rob was on the West Wing where he managed the impossible task of being the most insufferable part of an Aaron Sorkin show. A few years ago, there was talk of Rob Lowe replacing Charlie Sheen and the government was deciding who to give AIDS to next. Rob’s last show was called The Grinder. Hard to believe that a TV show named after a gay dating app wouldn’t be a huge hit.”

“I know some of you are saying I did this only to promote my book, In Trump We Trust: E Pluribus Awesome, available at bookstores everywhere, including the Barnes & Noble where Ralph Macchio works.”

[Second self-serving book promotion. How gauche!]

“We all do what we do. Writers write. Actors act. And Rob Lowe. What does he do? The truth is, Rob Lowe does a job that most Americans just won’t do – he plays Rob Lowe. It’s a thankless job but we’re all so grateful that you do it, Rob. Thank you.”

Tears of a Clown

Ann Coulter claims she “killed.” Others say she “bombed.” What’s the truth?

Ann Coulter upstaged Rob Lowe at his own roast, without even trying. But is there something more substantive to learn amidst all the folderol surrounding the Roast of Coulter with Lowe?

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Roasts depend upon humor and, in this case, the jokes targeting Coulter and those given by Coulter conceal and reveal Coulter’s heart.

Prior to the roast, Coulter told Extra: “I’ve never seen a roast but I hear it gets kind of mean.” She placed special emphasis on that last word, suggesting it was something to relish. Coulter then joked, “ My whole life is an Ann Coulter roast.”

Moreover, Coulter arrogantly entered a forum foreign to her, believing that she would inevitably prevail. She was clearly unprepared for what she was about to experience.

Jokes about Coulter

The opening to the roast introduced “The way less intelligent Ann Coulter.” (Coulter disagrees.)

The Coulter with Lowe Roast was an equal opportunity roasting, with everyone getting singed, but Coulter was uniquely burned.

These raunchy roasts generally employ good-natured ribbing. At this roast, Coulter was abjectly hated and, thus, became the recipient of a disproportionate number of “jokes” and vulgar venom. Many of the jokes were spiteful, not jocular. Some weren’t jokes at all but merely expressions of enmity. (This video contains every Coulter insult.)

The very best jokes contain at least a kernel of truth. Many of the jokes were actually accurate, on target. Coulter is known to be an offensive person because she purposely provokes offense.

Irrationally, Coulter seems surprised that deliberately offending people invites retaliation. (Live by the F.U., cry by the F.U.) This is particularly striking given her instructions in her 2004 bestseller, How to Talk to a Liberal (if you must). In it, she offers 10 rules for conservatives. Number three: “you must outrage the enemy.” She also advises, “Nothing too extreme can be said about liberals, because it’s all true.”

According to the Atlantic:

“Coulter, after all, has arguably based her entire profession on trolling TV viewers and political commentators with intentionally shocking, awful statements. To enumerate them all would be impossible – she’s less a pundit and more a vessel for free-associative hate speech … Her newsmaking brand isn’t dissimilar from the approach to writing a roast-appropriate joke: Craft an insult that’s as vicious as possible but still ends on a laugh line, a wink to the audience that suggests the whole thing is all in good fun. Coulter, however, mostly lacks that final element – her defenders might claim that she’s just trying to push buttons, but her arena isn’t the world of stand-up.”

Coulter’s Response

Ann Coulter was shocked to be targeted with such vitriol. (Her supporters claim she was “ambushed,” a conspiracy theory to Coulter’s liking.)

Coulter even contends that Comedy Central carefully edited the program to excise laughter at her jokes. She said, “I don’t know how they edited it but I know I got laughs when I was there.” She added, “It’s very easy to cut jokes, or laughs, out. You can make anybody look like they’re playing to a dead audience.”

One website took screengrabs of Coulter following various “jokes” and concluded that she handled it with grace. The Atlantic offered a different, more accurate, take: “Coulter, instead, responded to the lines with a sort of frozen, tortured grin, rendering the whole thing deeply uncomfortable.”

Coulter was clearly distressed and, in the beginning, visibly enraged. Toward the latter half of the show she was able to smile – a plastic, frozen smile to hide the incensed inferno within.

She never laughed at herself. Comedian Jeff Ross said, “She hated every second of it. She wouldn’t laugh.” Coulter doesn’t know how to laugh at herself. (Perhaps she should pretend her mirror is a camera.)

Coulter told Sam Roberts: “Ned [Rice] came running up to me at the first break … and [Ned] said, ‘You have to laugh; you have to laugh’ and I said, ‘I can’t, I can’t act. I’m sorry. It’s not that it’s about me. A lot of it wasn’t funny.’”

Claiming to have been “bored” by the whole roast, Coulter asserts, “I don’t notice ‘mean,’ but I do notice ‘jokes’ and I didn’t hear many of those – until I took the mic!” Boastful bravado masks her sorrow.

Coulter hides her rage by laughing about the low caliber of the “jokes” made at her expense, claiming, “I don’t care – I am just telling you what happened – it was a bore until I spoke and I was fantastic.

But Coulter does care. Ann hates criticism more than most people and she recoils against ridicule (though she is quite quick to dispense it). Coulter is a shameless person who hates to be shamed. The smallest criticism generates internal angst.

Coulter’s rage was obvious in her own description of the event: “Hunt, hunt, hunt, Hitler, KKK, hunt, hussy, hussy, Hitler, KKK, burning crosses, hunt, she hates Muslims, hunt, hunt, hussy, hussy, hussy – now I have summarized the entire two hours I had to listen to.” She made similar characterizations on other programs.

Jokes by Coulter

In our examination of this controversy (one which Coulter has, once again, ably exploited), a crucial element in this saga must be cleared up. The consensus on the Internet and social media is that Coulter bombed. This is nonsense. The audience disliked Coulter’s politics (and tasteful) humor.

Coulter was poised and sharp, though she stumbled over a few words. Some of her jokes were quite good and well presented. Others were not. Their fatal flaw: they were inappropriate to the venue. Moreover, they were often far too political and self-serving. But then, Ann is a very political and self-serving person. (See “Annotated transcript of Coulter’s set at the Roast of Rob Lowe.”)

Coulter told TMZ, “I wrote [my jokes, with] a few friends.” She explained, “I did not take the roasters’ jokes – they were too blue and too mean.” (Coulter reported rejected a series of jokes proffered by Comedy Central, only one of which could be regarded as incongruently apropos: “I have to say, Rob, it’s nice to finally not be the most hated person in the room.”)

As for Coulter’s actual shtick, it would have served her well to revise her prepared remarks after experiencing what a roast is really like. Instead, politics suffused her routine. One-liners are standard fare for a Coulter speech, but this wasn’t supposed to be a speech – it was a roast.

That reminded of an MRC Dishonors Awards ceremony where Coulter had been slated to introduce Rush Limbaugh, who abruptly canceled his appearance. Rather than introduce the actual speaker, Coulter introduced him as if he were Limbaugh so that her prepared material would not go to waste.

On Sam Roberts’ Show, Coulter boasted of her roast segment: “I killed.” She added, “All I had was jokes, I didn’t go blue and I wasn’t mean, and they laughed and I got to really promote my book.”

You can judge for yourself. (See “Annotated transcript of Coulter’s set at the Roast of Rob Lowe.”)

Ann Coulter Roasted

Polemicist Ann Coulter was roasted at Comedy Central’s Roast of Rob Lowe (see graphic).

Ann Coulter Roasted

Some of the jokes aimed at Coulter were vicious and vile, expressing the enmity she has evoked across the nation. (She has been called the most hated woman in America, after all.)

Coulter responded: “As a right-wing hate-monger, it is fantastic to be at a big Hollywood shindig with all these glittering celebrities that isn’t a fundraiser for Obama. There is nothing you can tell me to discourage me. My whole career has been an Ann Coulter roast.”

While Coulter has not lost her edge, she has lost her relevancy. More and more frequently, conservatives have come out against Coulter.

Since 9/11, many conservatives have frequently found fault with the substance and style of Coulter’s work, as well as with her integrity and veracity. In fact, conservative criticism of Coulter has increased dramatically in recent years.

Her current book, In Trump We Trust, has been completely undermined by her subject and savior, Donald Trump himself, prompting a slew of parody book covers. Coulter actually exhibited the five stages of grief in less than 36 hours.

Coulter has become an expert at one thing: turning herself into a parody.

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Alternative Ann Coulter Book Covers

Few people are as worthy of mocking as Ann Coulter. Add to that her latest book worshipful of the eminently mock-worthy celebrity Donald Trump and you have a recipe for delight.

Alternative Ann Coulter Book Covers

Posted here are a few parodies of Coulter’s book cover for your amusement. Unless otherwise noted, they were obtained on the Internet.

You are welcome to add your own to this collection.

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Morons

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Coulter’s Quip

Ann Coulter, quip-lover and queen of conservative sarcasm, is proud of her own quips while denouncing those of her foes.

As she began her latest book tour, Coulter penned a special column condemning Gov. Rick Perry’s fence-ladder quips.[1] She called Perry a “moron” without a brain for his quips.

Quip

Continuing to lambast Perry for using quips in lieu of substantive foreign policy, Coulter tweeted, “Also @GovernorPerry: ‘The 15-foot ladder business is going to get good on that 14-foot fence.’”[2]

Coulter claims Perry is “the pioneer of the argument that fences don’t work, buckets and wheels don’t work. It’s the craziest argument I’ve ever heard. Have they heard of East Germany and the Soviet Union? They wanted to keep people in, we want to keep people out. Fences work just fine.”[3]

Coulter is absolutely correct: we need to secure the border, including using fences. And, yes, fences work just fine – for the most part.

Fences, Ladders, and Tunnels

However, Coulter fails to grasp the implications of ladders and tunnels, which pose provably effective means of circumventing fences, thus giving sustenance to Perry’s fence-ladder quips.

Decrying fence detractors, Coulter noted, “[They say,] ‘fences don’t work.’ It’s like being told wheels don’t work. What are you talking about? It worked for centuries!”[4] (If wheels always worked, why not use them for mountain climbing?)

Tunnels are not new. They’ve worked for centuries, just like fences. Drug cartels regularly use tunnels along the Mexican border for their drug trade and human trafficking.

The epic blockbuster, The Great Escape, told the true story of Allied POWs escaping from the Nazis’ specially-designed, “escape-proof” POW camp. Tunnels worked just fine.

Still, Coulter dismisses Sen. Marco Rubio’s legitimate concerns, contending, “Rubio says because El Chapo built a tunnel.”[5] Smirking, Coulter then proudly quipped,

“Somehow El Chapo didn’t build a tunnel under Israel’s fence. That has managed to work.”

For those who have forgotten, Coulter has repeatedly emphasized that Mexican immigrants pose a threat to us because they can walk across the border. Israel is not on Mexico’s border. Of course, “El Chapo didn’t build a tunnel under Israel’s fence.” Why would he?

Yes, Israel’s fence works just fine, the 36 miles of it that have been completed. Meanwhile, America’s border with Mexico stretches 1,989 miles. Imperfect parallels.

A quip is only funny to Coulter when it fits her agenda. Otherwise, the quipster is a moron.

Trump’s Fences and Amnesty

Just last night, Coulter complained, “I don’t understand this weird objection. ‘What’s he going to do? What are the policies? It’s just phrases.’ What? As opposed to, ‘I’m going to secure the border, but not with a fence because fences don’t work, and you can build a tunnel under a fence.’ No, he’s giving specific policies …”[6]

Except, the Donald is long on bombast and short on details. What, specifically, would Trump do? Where Trump has been specific, he has been nonsensical.

National Review derides Trump’s immigration platform as incoherent at best.

“Trump’s original proposal was to build a wall and force the government of Mexico to pay for it. The latter half of that proposition is too silly to merit much criticism and may be dismissed as bluster. The first half is a little more complicated: The actual geography of the U.S.–Mexico border ensures that there will not be a wall, though a series of barriers is desirable.”

Continuing:

“But that is only a small part of the solution: Walls can be ascended or tunneled under, and must be patrolled; recent research suggests that more than half of new illegals do not sneak cross any border but simply enter legally and overstay their visas; no effective national system is in place to enforce our immigration laws at the critical place: the work site. ‘Build a wall’ is at most a part of the broader solution.”

As the editors at National Review point out, Trump’s deportation-reimportation strategy is amnesty by another name – “and a complicated, expensive, and thick-headed version of amnesty at that.”

Although amnesty is anathema to Coulter, she dismisses Trump’s version because Trump has spotlighted immigration, the subject of Coulter’s latest book.[7] This is yet another instance where Coulter’s political positions are incoherent.

Coulter champions Trump as the only person (apart from Mitt Romney)[8] who can end the scourge of immigration and thwart amnesty efforts, yet, Trump has his own (very complicated) version of amnesty. Coulter attacks every other presidential candidate who advocates some version of amnesty, yet heralds Trump as the savior of the nation despite his own amnesty proposals.

Coulter even supports Trump as a third-party candidate,[9] thus ensuring a GOP defeat and the rise of yet another open borders Democrat administration.

But if immigration is the death knell of Conservatism and of America, why is Coulter fighting tooth and nail to ensure that the open borders immigration policies of the Left will be solidified under another Democrat presidency?

If all of the other GOP candidates are midgets because they support amnesty, what does that make Trump? A more flamboyant midget? And why support him to the detriment of the nation?

Oh, that’s right, she has a book to sell.

Endnotes:

[1]               Ann Coulter, “This Week’s Immigrant Crime And Rick Perry Update,” Daily Caller, 6/5/15.

[2]               Ann Coulter tweet, 7/7/15, 10:09 p.m.

[3]               Ann Coulter, Hannity, FNC, 7/7/15.

[4]               Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham Show, 6/18/15.

[5]               Ann Coulter, Hannity, FNC, 8/7/15.

[6]               Ann Coulter, O’Reilly Factor, FNC, 8/10/15.

[7]               See “Coulter Trumped Up” at http://wp.me/p4jHFp-7Q.

[8]               See “Adios, Ann: Only Mitt for Me” at http://wp.me/p4jHFp-70.

[9]               See “Coulter’s Latest RINO Would Give Democrats Victory” at http://wp.me/p4jHFp-8t.